The Slaves Of Tarne - Gordon Neale

Ladymol's Review

I never review a book until I’ve finished it. I’m gonna make an exception with this one. I’ve read the first chapter and it’s so bad I’m going to amuse myself by picking out all my pet peeves as I go along.

Peeve Number One. What is it with the safe sex dogma in porn books? I mean, if you want to be safe, stop sticking your cock up other men’s backsides? If you want to do that (and, hell, I’m glad that you do!) then just write fiction, forget real life and live a little?  Sheesh. We're given a mythical setting in an unknown time and every single (very unpleasant) fuck we have the putting on of the rubber sheath (I kid you not, that’s what they’re called throughout).

Peeve Number Two. What is it with body hair in porn books about bondage? Can’t you tie someone down unless you can brush a parting in his leg hair? I almost vomited up a hairball reading this one… long, loving descriptions of just how hairy the men were and… where.

Peeve Number Three…. nah, life is too short to waste on this shudder-inducing rubbish.