Chapter 19

Spike came back slowly. He blinked very slowly to see if he could see the exploding lights again - he'd never seen those before - and then smiled at the intense throbbing in his balls. He wanted to touch his cockhead to see if it was still the same shape. It felt elongated.

He opened his eyes fully and turned his head to Angel. Angel, propped up on one elbow, had been watching the slow return of his childe's brain functions. Spike frowned at the frown that greeted him. 'Hey.'

'Hey you.'

'What's up?'

'Not you.'

Spike gave a small, shy smile. 'Yeah. Why you broody?'

Angel frowned as if he'd not realised he was frowning, but after a few moments, he said quietly, 'Will you be enough for me? Will you survive me?'

Spike turned onto his side and stared at the sad expression. 'You gonna expand on that or leave it all cryptic and mysterious like? Cus I am a detective now - or I know one, and that is in the biblical sense - and I can niggle and annoy it outta you.'

'I've….' Angel faltered before he'd even begun. Spike frowned and laid a cool finger on the soft lips.

'We said anything, Luv. Anything. I ain't gonna turn 'gainst you. You know that.'

If Angel heard the implied criticism of his own faithfulness, he chose to ignore it. As if he finally felt he had nothing to lose either way, he said, 'I've always been looking for something, Spike - from people. I looked for it in my father; I wanted it from Darla; I needed it from Dru; I thought I had found it with Buffy; I'm so close to it now with my friends - sometimes. Everyone I've ever known. I need for them to let me love them, but my kind of love is too much; it's always too intense. I drive everyone away. I need to be able to think about someone all day without them freaking about it. I want to obsess over someone, need someone more than need should be, want them until the want hurts. I want someone who will lose some of themselves when they are with me. I want… to be father and brother and lover and son. Everything.' He saw Spike's look and misinterpreted the glint of humour. He turned on his back and with a cold tone added, 'You asked.'

Spike sighed and rolled onto his back as well. He reached for his cigarettes and got two out, handing one wordlessly to Angel. He kept the manic grin off his face the whole time, thinking this inappropriate. Only when they were both lit did Spike turn to him. 'I'm only gonna say this once, Angel. You decide whether I want all that - whether you've found what you've been looking for.'

Angel raised an eyebrow, waiting.

Spike took a drag of his cigarette. He turned and put his free hand to Angel's face. 'Robot?'

Angel jerked his head back a little. He saw the look in Spike's eyes. He stared at the intense, frank expression. He read the memory of a need for him - for his possessive love - that had driven his childe to create his own, substitute sire. He thought about the robot, remembered the destructive possessiveness toward Spike that had been put into its programming. With nothing more dramatic than a small nod, he sank back onto the bed and just smoked silently with long-forgotten relish. When the cigarette was finished, he said simply, 'Okay.'

Spike lay quietly, still basking in the small jerks and spasms from his cock and balls, but finally, he could ignore the re-formed angst in the air no longer. 'What now?'

Angel pouted. 'Nothing.'

Spike flicked his cigarette onto the floor and with a weary sigh straddled Angel's belly. ''Fess.'

Angel looked shifty, but then blurted out in a rush, 'Seeing we're speaking of the robot….' He winced as Spike began to rake nails down his chest. 'Stop… look, the… all that… fuck, I can't say it. That….' He gritted his teeth. 'Gayness! There! All that freaking gay shit you programmed in: the hair obsession and… all that with the waistline - what the fuck was that? And those damn nails and the way it fondled my cashmere.…' He ignored Spike's incredulous look. 'All I'm saying is, is that how you really see me? Because I'm thinking if you do, then you can't really want me…. Hey! What are you doing?'

Spike looked up. His stilled his hand on Angel's thigh. 'Heading for another threatened staking.'

Angel snatched in his breath as Spike eased a finger into his hole. They both looked down in wonder at the sight and sensation of Angel being penetrated, the finger only stopping when Spike's ring rested gently against the tight sphincter muscles. Spike glanced up, amused. 'Want you, Angel? Don't matter what you do, poof or not, I just want you.' He demonstrated his words by gently extracting his finger and easing in instead his newly restored, still throbbing erection. He wasn't sure who winced more, but they both smiled at the shared hiss of pain. 'Bleed a little, Pet, why don't you.'

Angel grinned. 'Make me.'

Spike took the challenge. He grasped Angel behind each thigh and thrust him up in an undignified position that lifted his backside and spread his hole. He thrust in hard then withdrew. He thrust again, harder and faster. With a small groan of delight, he let his entire demon strength unleash into the fucking, and finally, Angel tore. The sensation of gliding on, and being ridden in blood brought them together: Angel pulling up on his incredibly strong abs, Spike leaning disbelievingly into the depth of the penetration. They felt their foreheads touch, and Spike twisted his face for a kiss. He slowed and softened the thrusting as Angel played with his mouth, teasing and licking around his soft walls, sharing Spike's taste between them.

The change in pace made Angel moan into the kiss, 'Jesus that's… great….'

He lay back gracefully, and Spike followed the languid movement until he lay braced on his strong arms over the flawless body. He dipped down, his erection now sliding easily against the soft walls of Angel's rectum and over his small gland. The deep, slow penetration made Angel throw an arm over his face to enjoy the pleasure in private.

Spike removed the arm then withdrew until his tip hovered, almost trembling on the edge of Angels' hole. When Angel held his gaze, he pushed in again. He'd now established their rhythm: he eased in and out in almost hypnotic repetition; Angel moaned faintly as he was brought inexorably toward release. He still wanted to cover his face, old habits making him need to hide his delight in being taken, but Spike kept him in the light, and together, they came to terms with Angel's desires.

When Spike sensed he was near to the end - when he felt his balls tensing and jerking on the brink of a powerful orgasm - he lowered fractionally on Angel's belly and cupped him around the back of the neck. 'Come with me, Pet. Come with me inside you - while I take you.'

Angel's eyes dilated. He nodded, rubbing his face slightly against Spike's hand. He grasped his erection and began to rub his palm over the exposed tip. He took it by the root and tapped it to Spike's belly, flicking off small droplets of pre-cum that rained down on him and mixed with the droplets of sweat glistening on his body. With a firmer grasp, he began to rub the deep purple glans over the washboard abs that rippled, thrusting above him. With a gasp, he felt his balls tighten and felt sperm erupt and shoot along his shaft. As the first strings bubbled over and wetted Spike's belly, Spike shuddered and released a pool of cool fluid deep into the rectum he had used so skilfully.

Angel would have enjoyed his post-orgasmic sensitivity for a lot longer, but he was suddenly flattened by Spike, crashing (in slightly mock exhaustion) on top on him.

Spike's penis slid out of Angel's slick channel, and the only sounds either could muster to regret this separation were small, shared, incoherent grunts.

Angel wrapped his arms around Spike's back, and then twisted his legs around as well. Spike adjusted his face into Angel's neck and promptly fell into a light, relief-induced snooze.

Something noiseless woke him, and he teetered on the brink of sleep and wakefulness trying to work it out. Eventually, he lifted a sleepy hand and slapped Angel hard on his head.

'Fucking hell, Spike! I was asleep then!'

'No, you weren't. You were brooding again, and it bloody woke me up.'

Angel did not reply.

Spike wriggled a little and put his hand into the sticky mess that joined them. He brought his fingers into Angel's line of sight. 'Tell me, or you eat this.'

At Angel's furtively interested look, Spike gritted his teeth and said, 'Okay. Tell me, and you get to eat this.'

Angel tried a smile, but it was pretty weak. He took a small breath. 'Going back to the robot then….' He made a valiant effort to ignore Spike's look. 'Angelus - what he did to you. Rape. Jeez. When I came to Sunnydale, you vomited because I touched you - because of what I'd-he'd-it had done. Now you'll think of that every time I want you… you won't want…. Where are you going?' Angel frowned as Spike eased out of his embrace then crawled out of the bed.

'Are we alone?'

Angel nodded. 'Guess. I told them to leave.'

'If you can catch me, Angel, you can have me like that as well. Wanna force me? Hell, I don't even need to ask. I know you do. Our demons drive us. Give in to the need at last. I'll fight you with every muscle… shit….' Spike almost didn't make it to the door, but he just skittered outside before Angel reached him. With a grin, he slid the bolt home and took advantage of what he suspected would only be few minutes to make his escape. It felt incredibly weird running naked through the deserted hotel, but the thought of how he might appear to someone else - heavily bloodied, limp penis swinging madly at the dash - made him chuckle. He sobered at the sound of splintering wood. With a tingle of real fear that almost made him whoop with the sense of being so nearly alive, he tore down the back stairs. He knew exactly where he was going.

Angel skidded into the gloomy kitchen on his childe's distinct trail. He stilled as memories of watching Spike fighting for his life sent shudders of loss through him as if the outcome of that fight had been different. He didn't have much time to enjoy his brooding moment, for he fell heavily when a blow caught the side of his head.

Putting a hand in furious wonder to a bloodied patch, he watched Spike circle him with the iron bar that had all too recently been imbedded in his body.

Spike raised an eyebrow at the stunned look. 'You're gonna have to work harder than this for my arse, Angel. Come on; take me. I want you to at least try.'

Angel stood and advanced on his gleeful childe. 'That hurt, Spike.'

'Yeah? Good, you can repay me in full.'

Angel tipped his head back, disbelieving that he was being offered all this. He lowered his face, and when he next looked up, shivers of real fear tingled down Spike's spine. Angel lunged but, naked, he became distracted, and Spike was able to dodge the clumsy movement. He began to croon a soft, irritating song, just to wind Angel up some more, and when he got the opportunity, swiped at his legs with the bar. That was a mistake. Angel didn't let his nakedness (or Spike's) distract him a second time. He grabbed the other end of the bar and twisted it out of Spike's hand.

Spike didn't wait to argue the toss - he fled further into the recesses of the kitchens. Angel relaxed. He knew there was only one way out, and he was between it and his childe. The anticipation of taking Spike - forcing Spike - began to stiffen him. He put an appreciative hand down to his penis as he stalked through the gloom. He wanted to call out for Spike - croon his name in an eerie tone - but felt that was a bit too melodramatic. What the hell…. With a small giggle, he sang Spike's name softly to the tune of a child's rhyme he knew Spike would appreciate. Even he had to smile at the effect of the chilling sound echoing in the empty metallic spaces.

With a small grunt of recognition, Angel found Spike in front of the furnace, standing braced, furious, determined and ready. It was incredibly hot; sweat was already pouring off the pale, thin, muscular body. Angel let his hand drop from his penis as he admired a matching erection on Spike. He growled as his demon stirred. Spike braced a little more. 'You ain't gonna take me, Angel. No games - no shit. I let that fucking thing have me. You ain't.'

Angel tipped his head back, letting the pleasure of such a challenge stiffen him to the point of explosion. He was at Spike's side before his childe had registered any shift in stance.

Spike cursed and tried to break Angel's hold on his arms, but they were iron bands, pinning his arms to his sides. He smashed his face forward instead and heard Angel grunt in pain, warm blood shooting out of the broken nose. In pain, angered beyond belief, Angel flung Spike against the side of the furnace. The heat was intense. Spike gave a genuine cry of fear as he began to smoke. Angel hauled him off. 'Sorry.'

''K.' Spike added with a smirk, 'You heap of shit.'

Angel threw Spike violently against the wall instead.

As Spike's body reeled to the force of the impact, Angel brought his hand down onto the naked, hard, flawless backside with a need he had held in his heart for over a hundred and fifty years. Smacking Spike - smacking him for being bad, for being too good, for being his childe, for not being his enough, for being himself but, most of all, for not being there when he so desperately needed him. The retort of sweating flesh on flesh made them cry out in unison. The skin on Spike's arse reddened, and Angel watched, fascinated, as the magical blood they shared rose and flushed the skin. He hit again and felt Spike buckle slightly at the power of the blow.

It was too much. He could resist no longer. He prised Spike's cheeks apart and thrust a finger in the tight hole. 'Tell me again how you're not going to let me take you.'

Spike's voice was high, intoxicated with fear and delight, need and fury, his demonic humanity making the words crash and tumble over themselves in their haste to be spoken. 'Fucker! You think I don't know how you dream of doing this to your pet humans? Jeez, Angel! I can hear the sound of their screaming when you look at them; I can smell their blood when you think about them. They teeter on the edge of their existence, not knowing that the beast is among them…. Oh!' Angel slammed his cock through Spike's unprepared anus. 'Shit! Yes… I mean… No!' Spike arched back to the exquisite, splitting penetration and tore to the force of Angel's dark need.

He rode out the pain until it became intense pleasure. He leant back and supply wrapped his arms around Angel's neck, pulling them closer as Angel rode him on blood. 'Will I want you, Angel? Fuck, Luv. Don't matter what you do, rapist or not, I just want you.'

Angel grunted as his balls tightened and then exploded their contents up into Spike. He shivered as an intense orgasm ricocheted tremors throughout his body. The smell of blood and cum hung heavy in the air. When Angel opened his eyes, he saw with intense pleasure Spike's milky cum shoot out and hit the wall, running down in small dark rivulets.

Risking ruining his first rape in so many years, Angel was, nevertheless, immensely pleased he'd made Spike orgasm as well.

Spike went limp when the intense pleasure-in-pain orgasm was over. Unable to hold him up, Angel sank to the floor with his childe in his arms. They lay utterly replete, bathed in mixing blood and sperm, sharing these as they'd shared their mutual, demonic need for chase, fear and pain.

Lying on Angel's belly, Spike stared at the small area of floor behind Angel's ear, desperately thinking about nicotine and trying to work out if he'd ever not smoked after an orgasm before. He couldn't concentrate on this fascinating task for the deafening brooding still coming from Angel. With an increasingly intolerant sigh, Spike rolled off and said between gritted teeth. 'Tell me….'

Angel tore his gaze away from the furnace. 'What?'

Spike almost believed the little boy act. Almost. 'Spill, Tosser.'

This seemed to hit home, for Angel flashed a quick look at Spike then sat up too as if to stand. Spike restrained him with a light touch. 'What?'

Angel clenched his jaw. 'The robot…. Don't look like that! You asked! Do you want to know this or… ow. Okay. The robot…. The thing I hated the most…. Jeez. I told you, Spike; they were all watching. It was…. They saw me like that.'

Spike smirked. 'Like what? Like a wanker?'

'Don't joke! It's that contempt thing, see? If you see me with that much contempt… how can you want…? What are you doing?'

'I'm sitting you up a bit so I can watch this time.'

'Watch wh…? No. No way. Spike! Jeez!'

He took Angel's face roughly in his hands and jerked him around. 'Want you?' Spike smiled indulgently. 'Wanker? Tosser? Fuck, Angel! I don't care. I just want you. So, as I've been imagining you doing this for nearly two hundred years… don't disappoint me, yeah?'