the Fire in Which we Burn
Episode 5 - Chapter 3
Spike wandered around the small apartment, listening to the sounds of the shower running. He'd declined one himself, but had accepted the offer of sweats. He could see the church from the window, its lights still sending unearthly beauty through the stained glass. It unnerved him; he couldn't define the emotions that washed through him as he stared at the muted purples and blues.
'Beautiful, isn't it?'
Spike jerked around to find the priest watching him. 'I stand for hours at that window sometimes.'
Spike swallowed deeply and tried not to watch the towel rubbing over the smooth, perfect flesh. Under his breath, he murmured, 'Yeah, beautiful.'
Dressed only in old jeans, the man casually dried his chest and dripping hair. He saw Spike's look. 'Are you sure you don't want one? There's plenty of water.'
Spike swallowed again. 'Nah. I'm not hot. Not really much of a work out for me.'
Nate shook his head ruefully. 'You're never going to let me forget this, are you? How do you do it? What training regime are you on?'
'Well, yes, what do you eat, for example, before a run?'
Spike had a momentary flash of himself running from his drained victims. 'Err… tonight I ate three doughnuts.'
Nate paled. Spike took pity on him. 'So, this thing I'm doing…?'
The man pulled on a T-shirt and poured them both a small whisky. Spike felt bile rising as he smelt the alcohol but then grinned and tossed it back in one.
Nate sat down on a couch and indicated for Spike to join him. He twisted slightly so he was facing him and said softly, 'Tell me about her.'
Spike pouted. 'She's… complex. Hard to describe, ya know? She can be so cruel and cold, but then something in her eyes makes you wonder if she's putting on a good act. It's like she's preening for attention.' He sat quietly for a moment then added softly, 'She craves attention, and she gets it the most when she's evil. I think she's afraid of being good because maybe no one will remember her name.'
'You sound very close to her.'
'Not really. We work together occasionally.'
'What do you do, Spike? You haven't told me.'
Spike started at him for a moment. 'Write. I'm a writer.'
'A writer! Hey! Have I read anything of yours?'
Spike grinned inwardly. 'Nah, doubt it. I write horror stuff. Vampires and shit.'
'Oh, I don't read books like that.'
'I know, that's why I said…. Pity, you might like 'em.'
'Why vampires, for God's sake?'
'Why? Well, cus they're kinda cool; you've gotta admit that. All that eternal life…?'
'I deal in eternal life, too.'
'Mine's more substantial.'
'Oh, yeah. Forgot that.'
'So, how does this friend of yours fit in? She's not… researching for you, is she? Dabbling in the dark arts?'
'Well, yeah, good point. She kinda dabbles - vampires, demons, magic, spells.'
'My God…. How can you expend all that effort on such utter rubbish?'
'You don't believe in the supernatural?'
'No, Spike, I don't. No rational person would.'
'Huh. Kinda leaves God in an awkward place, don't it?'
'Are you attempting sophistry with a priest?'
Spike leant closer with a grin and tapped the man gently on the chest. 'I never touched you, Mate, honest!'
Nate's eyes hooded slightly, and he said coolly, 'She is something of a challenge.'
Spike sat back and looked at the man for a moment, the brush-off rankling.
Before he could slip seamlessly into another of his seductive tactics, Nate said as if to soften his earlier words, 'Tell me about yourself; I'm curious. What part of England do you come from?'
Unwilling to go too far down this route, Spike said carefully, 'London.'
'It's a city I've always wanted to visit. What brought you to LA? Let me guess… a girl?'
Spike chuckled. 'In a way. And I'll make sure to mention that later… if we were speaking, which we might not be now.'
'You laugh at that? That seems sad to me.'
'Well, you know what's it's like….'
Nate jerked his head back and laughed. 'Not really; I'm a priest!'
'Cel… celibate. Celibate? Celibate! I'm… jeez. Am I speechless?'
Nate chuckled. 'It's not a hardship; it's a gift… freely given. God, Spike, this is so… nice. Just sitting here talking like this. I don't find it easy to make friends. People tend to shy away when they find out what I am… what?'
Spike shook his head and patted the priest on the leg. 'Sorry, Mate, only, believe me; I know exactly what you mean.'
'You don't seem at all impressed by any of it. You're just taking me as I am, and that's so refreshing. I'd like us to be friends.'
Spike looked at the man, completely taken aback - lost for words. He was being offered human, male friendship for the first time in his life - human life or otherwise. This was the first time that someone was not just seeing a vampire, the first time that someone didn't want something from him: sex, power, a thrill from touching the dark side. This priest saw something in him that he liked, and there were no hidden agendas to that attraction. Spike felt himself grinning and shook his head as if to slough off the expression. 'I'd like that too.'
Nate grinned back. 'Good, so, what are you doing tomorrow afternoon?'
Still entranced by the man's offer, Spike replied thoughtlessly, 'Nothing, why?'
'I've been volunteered to play in the Diocesan sports. I need some moral support.'
Spike pursed his lips as the dangerous illusion of being human faded. 'Sorry, only I'm not much for….'
'Afternoons. I'm kinda nocturnal… writer, ya know.'
Expecting to lose the moment, expecting the man to suddenly withdraw this rare offer of friendship, Spike was surprised when the priest nodded amiably. 'The eternal student - God, those were the days. What about in the evening then? A movie?'
Spike tried to look censorious to hide his pleasure. 'Thought you said you didn't get much time to yourself.'
Nate pouted. 'Saturday evening… even the Pope takes Saturday evening off.'
Spike stood up. 'See you tomorrow then. Can I…?' He indicated the sweats he'd borrowed, and Nate just nodded, rising. 'Good luck with the running around thing tomorrow.'
The priest chuckled. 'Good luck with the lying around in bed thing. Wish I could join you.'
As he walked to the door, Spike realised with wonder that there had been no double meaning in that comment. Such purity of purpose confused him, and he made his way out into the warm night air, feeling more human, more real than he had for a very long time.
He walked slowly along, thinking about the strange evening until he came to the place where he had to choose his route. He thought for a short moment and turned toward his own apartment. As he neared the block, he stopped and looked at it properly for the first time. He owned an apartment - like a man. As he took out his key, he stared at it. A key, and it was his.
He went in, still mulling over the night, stripping off the sweat top as he walked into the bedroom. A figure by the window moved, and Spike froze.
'Where did you go?'
'Why are you here?'
'Answer my question first.'
'I went to get that professional help you told me to.'
'I didn't mean that the way it sounded, Spike; you know that.'
'I didn't take it the way it was meant; so, don't worry. Why are you here?'
'Why do you think?'
Spike sighed. 'My body.'
Angel frowned. 'No. I wanted to see you. Apologise. Try to explain why I don't want you to do this.'
'Save your breath, Angel; I'm….'
'Whose clothes are those?'
'The black things are; I can smell that. Whose are the others, and why are you dressed like that?'
'None of yours, I'm thinking.'
Angel crossed the gap between them, and although Spike stood his ground, he had no need to. Angel just laid a hand softly on his cheek with a sad look. 'Spike, what's going wrong between us again? Why are you in this mood?'
Spike blinked slowly. 'I don't know. I just wanted you to want what I wanted on this, and you didn't.'
Angel pulled him into his arms. 'I do want it, Spike. Of course I want it. She's so worth saving, only I'm afraid that in saving her, you'll destroy yourself. I was… scared…. There, I've admitted it. I was scared for you, and I'm sorry we argued.'
If Angel had been aware of how Spike had spent his evening, he could not have pitched this apology better. It struck a chord in Spike's heart - the heart that had felt so human, so calm all evening. Spike put his hands to Angel's face, just exploring with his fingertips over the familiar lines. He pulled Angel into the gentlest of kisses, breathing softly against the cool lips. Angel instinctively mirrored the soft foreplay, slowly lifting Spike's T-shirt. He smiled as his hands stumbled over a task he had done so many times before, but with so much more urgency and so much less care. Eventually, he had the smooth skin of Spike's chest under his hands, and he explored it with the lightest of touches, lingering over the nipples, teasing them with small grazes from his nails.
He eased his hands into the back of the shorts and cupped Spike to him, leaning back slightly so his prominent bulge rubbed against the pliant body in his arms. They stood for a long time, just re-acquainting themselves with lips and tongues, swaying together and arousing the other with the intimate contact.
Angel nuzzled into Spike's neck. 'Can you hear music? Why do I feel like this tonight?'
Spike smiled into Angel's hair. 'Yeah. I hear it too.'
'I don't think I've ever loved you as much as I do now. You seem so… human….'
Spike nodded in acknowledgement of something he was feeling too.
Angel pulled away and looked deeply into his eyes.
'Let me make love to you?' He didn't wait for a reply that he didn't need to hear. He eased Spike down onto the bed and gently lowered the sweat pants and shorts. He stood over the prone figure, sliding them slowly and provocatively down Spike's thighs, the slim, pale legs pulled high into the air as the clothes were eased right off. Angel held the smooth thighs and pushed them back toward Spike's head, groaning at what lay exposed and waiting for him. He sank to his knees, licking one finger and just playing it gently over the enticing hole.
'Your body gives me so much pleasure, Will.'
Spike glanced at Angel's lowered head, not commenting on the use of the name that carried so many associations between them. He felt tonight that it was appropriate and only ran his fingers through Angel's thick hair in acknowledgment of the long history they shared. Angel rose to his feet and took himself out, working the semi-hard cock to full hardness as Spike watched. They smiled at each other, each closely watching the other's expression. The slow anticipation of the entry not something they shared very often in their usual uncontrollable passion for each other's bodies.
Angel's precum began to run fast and thick from his cockhead. It formed a small trail of beaded silk hanging between the weeping slit and his fist. Spike watched the fragile thread, tasting it on his tongue, imagining taking that smooth head into his mouth and sucking on it gently. Angel seemed to read his thoughts, for he moaned and closed his eyes for a moment as if Spike's tongue were flicking over him, catching the flow he could feel wetting his fist.
Slick, hard, the colour of blood - Angel's erection stood proud in front of his body when he let his fist drop. He lay heavily on Spike's thighs and eased it into the tight hole. They both closed their eyes at the intense pleasure and rightness of the entry, then snapped them open so they could watch that pleasure mirrored in the other.
Spike cupped the back of Angel's head and pulled him down for a kiss, the softness and sweetness of this extra joining making them moan and rub hands urgently over slick skin.
Angel started to move, slowly running his hardness up Spike's soft walls, opening him up, stretching him until he cried out with pleasure, his cry captured and echoed in Angel's mouth.
Angel pushed his hand over Spike's forehead and into his sweaty hair, his movements becoming more urgent in the supine body. Spike rose slightly at every run of the hardness through his sensitive channel, meeting the pleasure that came to him through Angel.
Angel took his mouth off Spike's and pressed it to his ear. 'You're my lover.'
Something in the way Angel said this, the rarity of the acknowledgment from his sire's lips made Spike arch high, thudding Angel's balls hard against him. Angel cried out at the sensation and began a rapid staccato jerking into Spike.
Neither withstood that. Spike's cock bounced wildly over his belly, shooting cum between them. Angel's flooded the receptive channel, his thrusting cock making small erotic slapping noises as he eked out the pleasure of his orgasm.
When Angel was finished, Spike wrapped his legs over the strong back and locked his ankles. Angel gave him a look, then a grin of surrender, and eased them carefully back on the bed, so they could both lie, joined and sticky in the aftermath of their lovemaking.
Angel sighed. 'I can't find the words to tell you how much I love you. I don't think they exist.'
Spike smiled and brushed a lock of hair off Angel's forehead. 'Where's all this come from? Are you feeling guilty for hitting me by any chance?'
Before Angel could reply, Spike added with a grin, 'Cus I kinda provoked you, ya know?'
Angel swiped at him lightly. 'That's two of us that think that then. Come back to the hotel with me, Spike. It's too soon for you to be here….' Even Angel couldn't keep up that fiction and cursed softly. 'Okay, I just want you to come back. '
Spike wriggled slightly, and they both chuckled at the swell of Angel's cock in his rectum. 'I'm there as much as I'm here anyway. 'Sides, then I wouldn't have the pleasure of coming home and finding you here.'
'I'm thinking that wasn't your first thought when you saw me here.'
Spike made a wry face then buried his expression into Angel's neck, mumbling a soft reply.
Angel pushed him off and looked at him sternly. 'Tell Daddy.'
Spike shook his head in wonder. 'You're spooky sometimes, Angel. That's exactly what I thought. For a moment, I thought you were the shadow that stalked me to my death.'
Angel held himself still. 'I'm sorry.'
Spike frowned and lifted Angel's face so he could stare into the dark eyes. 'You gave me your eternity, Angel, and now I'm enjoying the benefits of that gift.'
He began to laugh, and Angel poked him. 'What?'
'Nothing, Pet, only I was just thinking that it was a MUCH better gift than one I heard about tonight.'
'From the owner of the clothes?'
'Should I be jealous?' Angel took his own reply from the laughter that Spike tried unsuccessfully to suppress. He slapped him lightly, just because he could and because they both enjoyed it, then twitched the covers over them both. 'Sleep now, irritating childe and lover of mine.'
Spike, still chuckling about the idea of Angel being jealous over a celibate human, snuggled in further and let his mind begin to drift toward sleep as he was commanded.
Just as he was tipping over into that silent realm, he heard a soft whisper, 'I'll do anything I can to help; you just have to ask.'
Taking his grin into sleep with him, the nightmares that had lurked so close to the surface over the last few days were almost totally subdued.
He still felt absurdly happy when he woke and tested his grin out for a few moments to see if it was the same one, or whether waking in Angel's warm arms had just re-created it.
He snuggled in closer, trying to find all the places where their bodies could be joined. He glanced down and repressed another grin at the sight of Angel's cock, semi-hard and lying enticingly over the top of one thigh. Very slowly, Spike put a finger to the tip and eased it in through the gathered foreskin. He could feel the damp flesh concealed below and brushed over the puffy indentation.
The cock twitched and rose, dislodging his finger. Spike stifled a laugh and tried to reinsert his finger into the bobbing shaft. When it continued to evade his best attempts, he moved his hand down to the soft balls and caressed them gently, just to keep the erection dancing for him. He was rewarded by the shaft swelling, the head emerging and a single tear of precum welling into the exposed slit.
In his mind, Spike slid his lips over the hard column. As they passed the tip, it was still Angel's cock. It was still Angel's as his lips bumped over the prominent ridge, but by the time he was heading down the velvet-soft shaft, it had warmed considerably, and Wesley's fingers dug into his scalp. It always came back to Wesley. He gave Angel's balls a slightly harder squeeze and was pleased to feel Wesley's cock swell in his mouth, but however hard he tired, Spike could not lose himself in the fantasy. He had no doubt that one day they would all lie in this bed sharing flesh and pleasure and need, but it was up to him to work out how they could do that without Angel losing the only human friend he been able to keep, and the one he needed the most. Spike mentally withdrew his lips for a moment, but continued to watch the blood surging, hardening the cock.
He twitched up his eyebrow as another intriguing option occurred to him. Closing his eyes, in his imagination, the cock once more slipped subtly into his mouth, so real this fantasy that he could actually taste the precum on his tongue. He grinned. Celibacy didn't alter the flavour at all.
Now he had Nate in his mouth, Spike decided it was his duty to make sure the priest enjoyed the experience. He rolled the cockhead into his cheek; he sucked hard on the tiny slit. When he opened his eyes, he chuckled silently as the cock seemed to share the fantasy: thick, urgent precum running down the shaft and making it glisten in the early evening light. Spike rewound for a moment and tried to work out how he'd come to be giving Nate a blowjob. It seemed too obvious to have them fall in mutual lust on each other after a run. Joining the priest unexpectedly in the shower was a cliché. He wanted something subtle and played with the idea of something happening in a confessional, but as he never confessed that was unlikely.
He frowned as the annoying thought crossed his mind that he didn't want this cock to be his new friend's after all. He watched it, fascinated once more at the thought that the priest didn't want him for sex. Suddenly, that didn't seem so annoying. It was… entrancing.
Spike licked his lips and let the cock return to its natural owner. He could still not get over the fact that Angel was his. Whenever he wanted this, it would be made available to him. A memory of the hard shaft entering him flashed into his mind, and he arched slightly at the exquisite sensation coursing through his body. His cock began to swell as if Angel's erection was buried in him for real. There was no sensation like it. However much he enjoyed penetrating and taking, it was this, this sense of giving himself totally to Angel that really turned him on. He wanted to be the only place that Angel could find pleasure. He wanted to be Angel's obsession. He wanted to be what Angel wanted, and as the thought crashed into his mind that all of this was true and not a fantasy, he came, cold spurts of cum shooting out over Angel's thigh and running down to pool in the sheets. Spike looked down incredulously; he hadn't even touched himself.
Half-amused, he looked up to check that Angel was still asleep but groaned and flung himself petulantly onto his back. 'Kinda private, Luv. Really didn't want an audience.'
Angel slid down to kiss him and murmured, 'As you were using my cock to get off, I reasoned I had permission to watch. It was mine…?'
'Like I know someone else so hard I can friggin' come like a teenage boy just thinking 'bout it.'
'Which teenage boy is thinking about my cock?'
'What are you doing…?'
'Turning you over.' Angel thrust hard and without any preparation into the bed-warm body. He groaned as he fulfilled the fantasy for both of them. Waking in the morning, watching Spike play with him, knowing that they would have this for eternity - Angel didn't think he had ever been so hard nor wanted Spike more.
Spike cried out with amused pleasure and dipped his waist. Angel couldn't get enough of the pliant body. When he gripped it, his hands slipped away on the sweat-slick skin. His whole body burned for Spike, and he cried out with frustration and need. Spike's body shivered at the sound of that cry; it made him hard again, his erection swelling and brushing the mattress as he was plundered. He began to pant, and Angel groaned at the pleasure of drawing forth breath from his childe.
Angel heaved and smashed and rode Spike as if this was to be their last time together. He had never felt such intense need to cum and such desperation for that orgasm to be in Spike. Spike felt as if his entire unlife had been given to him for just this moment: to have his sire using him, his lover needing him, and his best friend sharing the intimacy of his body with him.
Angel's groans began to run together in a seamless litany of pleasure as he surfed inexorably toward his completion. He lowered his head, and the long thrusts became short, staccato jerks. Suddenly, he stretched his neck back, chords straining to contain this ultimate pleasure, and he jerked once as the first shot of cum left him, then again as another followed, and then he let himself go to the pleasure, just shuddering and twitching the endless flow deep into Spike's willing body.
Angel was not so lost to his orgasm that he didn't know Spike had yet to come. As soon as he was able, he slipped his hands further around Spike's slim waist and took the familiar cock in his hands. He leant down onto Spike's back and murmured his appreciation of the hardness greeting him. Spike twisted his head around and grinned. 'That's you, Luv. That's how you make me.'
Angel smiled at him, and they both felt the intense intimacy of the lovemaking once more. Spike put a hand back, and Angel grasped it, working Spike with just one. They entwined their fingers, and when Angel tried to pull out to give himself better purchase on the slick cock, Spike held him back. He shook his head. 'You're never pulling out.'
Angel chuckled. 'Just as well I don't need to pee then.'
'Might be hard to explain at work though.'
'We'll tell them it's a vampire thing.'
'They'll all want to be turned.'
Angel shuddered. 'Can you imagine Wes as a vampire?' He gave Spike's cock a particularly sensuous stroke.
Spike gasped then raised an eyebrow. 'Can he imagine it, is rather more to the point.'
Angel began to lick gently over Spike's back as he worked him, well aware how sensitive his childe was there. Spike hissed with pleasure and arched like a cat to the caress.
Angel let Spike's fingers drop and put his hand through Spike's legs to his sac.
He didn't last long after that. With his balls gently rubbed over one another and his cock worked with increasingly long, slow strokes, Spike let himself be claimed by his orgasm. He surrendered to it, let its powerful waves of pleasure surf through his body and spark like life in every nerve. Angel just held him, twisting his hand over and over in the spurting fluid, rubbing his face softly against Spike's back as if that contact could draw forth the intense ejaculation he was enjoying.
Spike collapsed; Angel fell with him, and they both lay panting and chuckling in the very damp bed. After a few moments, Angel slid his arms under Spike and rolled them so he had his childe in a tight spoon. They immediately entwined fingers again, and Angel played idly with Spike's rings. 'When will fucking you stop getting better?' He kissed into the back of Spike's neck. 'Five minutes rest, then I want you in me.'
Spike grinned then pouted. 'Can't. Going out tonight - now, in fact.'
Angel groaned then tightened his grip around Spike's chest. 'Okay.'
Spike shook his head. 'You're not…?'
'Angel, let me go.'
'Nope. You're not leaving this bed - ever.'
Spike twisted his head and gave Angel a look that sent shivers down the dark vampire's spine. Spike dipped down for a kiss, and they lost themselves to the intense need that sparked between them once more. Angel braced himself on his arms and lay heavy over Spike, taking his lips with an urgency that made a mockery of their recent release. Spike slipped down a little and began to kiss Angel's chest. He continued his slow descent toward the hanging, twitching penis, which still bubbled with fluid. Angel sighed with pleasure and arched his back, closing his eyes to the delicious sensation.
Spike slipped right out through his legs and dived for the shower, laughing.
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