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Chapter 10

Spike woke so full of Angel's rich blood that his ears were humming slightly. It was an out-of-tune hum though, and he wished it would stop. He turned over, and it did, and when he opened his eyes, Angel was propped up on the pillow next to him, smiling.

'Did I proposition you again?'

Angel shook his head fractionally, still smiling.

'Did we….'

Angel shook his head, his expression never wavering.

'Stop smiling, Angel; you're freaking me out. Why are you smiling, by the way?'

'Because I've been waiting to do this….' Angel leant closer to Spike, cupped the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss. There was no mistaking this kiss - no accidental brush whilst training, no chaste childe to sire obeisance, no aftermath of demonic feeding. This was Angel, in the bright light of day, leaning into Spike's mouth and pushing his tongue through the cool lips. This was Angel, in the bright light of day, taking his time to explore and taste Spike's mouth. This was Angel, rising in the passion of this kiss to lie on Spike. This was Angel, initiating the unmistakable movements of a man intending to have sex. This was Angel, reaching a hand down to find Spike, to rub around his erection, cup him and hold him in preparation. This was Angel, beginning to moan softly and enter that state of arousal that as a man, he could not draw back from.

Angel began to lift Spike's leg, but Spike twisted his face away from the kiss. Angel shook his head and, in his urgency, began to kiss down Spike's neck, still trying to lift the leg and give him access to where he could find release. He felt a hand placed over his mouth, and he finally looked up into a pair of dilated blue eyes. 'Pet….'

Angel shook his head; he didn't want to speak. He shook off the hand and began to bite urgent nips over Spike's collarbone. His head was captured and pressed in the chest so firmly that he had to stop and listen. 'Love, it's too soon.'

'No. It's not. I want you.'

'I know. But…. Angel…. it goes around in my head. That steady progression of evil. The unreality. Jeez…. I thought Fred and Cordy were unreal, ya know? And Denzil and Lorne Green - fuck, it was all so real and so unreal. It's too soon. For me… to do this… with you.'

Angel lifted his head and saw Spike pause briefly at the look on his face. 'You saw Lorne? When?'

'When I first got here… he came up with the others.'

'No. He's been in Las Vegas for months.'

'He was here, with the others.'

'What did he say?'

Spike hesitated. 'I don't remember.'

Angel rolled off Spike. 'I'm sorry.'

'No, pet, I don't mean for you to be sorry, and I'm feeling like a teenage virgin now. I… only… I want you. Can you wait?'

Angel turned to him, trying to bite back the small bubble of laughter at this odd request from the Big Bad. Spike narrowed his eyes. 'Are you taking the mick?

'Apparently not. I have to… wait….' Angel put an arm over his eyes to cover his laughter. He felt a cool hand snatch it away.

'I said I wasn't ready for… that, didn't say I wouldn't do some of… this….' Spike initiated the kiss, and it was even better for Angel for that. Spike slipped on top, taking care to keep the sheet modestly over him. He looked down shyly then lifted his face and gave Angel the full power of one of his soulful, slightly pouting expressions. 'Kiss me.'

Angel rose fast and hard to Spike's mouth. He clamped them together, twisting their mouths until their lips hurt and swelled. Other things swelled, and Angel once more began to push a hand between them to find Spike's penis. Spike pulled away and slid down to the end of the bed. He double wrapped the sheet around his waist, gave Angel a little look and said softly, 'Today's gonna be interesting after that….'

It was. They could not stop looking at each other. Subtle undercurrents of passion sparked between them. Angel was in a state of arousal all day, pheromones pumping off him until the humans they worked with felt headachy and ill.

Every opportunity he got, he took what he was allowed of Spike. He pulled Spike into quiet corners and spread-eagled him against the wall, laying his hard, heavier body over him, just pressing in and enjoying the totality of the contact. When he could, he found an excuse to get Spike into the office and hardly closed the door before he pulled Spike to him, snatching at his mouth with hard, fast kisses, urging him to more

He could not talk to anyone else; he could not concentrate on what he had to do. Spike's body consumed him, and every time he thought about Spike, there he was, returning the look, thinking about him. Angel became almost dizzy with unsatisfied lust, so when Cordelia swayed while he was talking to her, for one brief moment, he thought he going to fall. Sense returned, and he caught her, lowering her gently to the floor.

'Hey? Bad one?'

'They all are. It's Lorne.'

Angel frowned, his odd conversation with Spike forgotten until that moment, squashed by different thoughts of Spike.

'Is he in trouble?'

'Nooo… more like he's trying to call us.'

'And they don't have telephones in Vegas?'

'Maybe he can't get to one.'

'Okay, where's Gunn?' Cordelia tried to get to her feet. 'Not you. You stay here with Fred.'

'Angel, I….' Angel saw her determination and bent to her ear. 'I have to leave, Spike. I need you here for him.'

Cordelia, flattered by the trust Angel placed in her, nodded. Angel went up to Spike's room and found him sprawled on the bed, reading, a small furry object asleep on the small of his back. Angel smiled and came over. Spike raised his eyes, and once more a tingle of desire coursed down Angel's spine. 'I have to go to Vegas.'

'Cus of what I said?'

'No. Well, maybe. Will you be okay… only one night.'

'Who's gonna be here?'

'Just the girls.'


'I don't want to go.'

Spike looked at him shyly. 'How long you got before you go?'

Angel groaned and knelt on the bed. Spike rolled and dislodged the puppy. They came together once more, Spike fully dressed only exciting Angel more. He rubbed his hands over the soft material of Spike's T-shirt, groaning as it slid across the smooth skin. He felt Spike through the thicker material of his jeans, cupping and squeezing gently at the bulge. 'Get yourself out.'


'Come on, I've not got much time.'


'Fuck. Hurry.'

'Angel, man, you up there?'

Angel shot Spike an agonised look then climbed off the bed, straightened himself as best he could and said. 'Tomorrow?'

Spike slid off the bed, pressed him swiftly against the wall and captured his mouth. When he pulled away, he said with a strange note to his voice, 'I promise, Angel. Tomorrow. Think of me while you're away, yeah?'


'I'm coming.' Angel tore himself away and went out to intercept Gunn, his head so full of Spike and that momentous promise that he wondered he could function rationally at all.

Spike waited until he heard the car drive away then came casually into the lobby and sat down on a chair near Cordelia. He rummaged through some stuff on the desk then propped his head on his hands watching her.

'S quiet when he's gone, innit?'

Doing some calculations, she only gave him half her attention. 'Funny that - for a morose, taciturn vampire.'

'So, how's this thing gonna work between you then? You being human an' all. Just.'

'What, Spike? Look, I'm doing accounts. What thing?'

'Well, you and Angel.'

'Me and Angel what?'

Spike hesitated. 'Okay. I'm gonna change the subject here rapidly.'

She looked up and laid down the paper. 'No, you're not. What are you talking about?'

'He has told you, hasn't he?'


'Angel loves you.'

'What!' She burst into delighted laughter.

Spike looked relieved. 'Okay, so you know. That's a relief.'

She sobered instantly. 'Angel told you that he loved me?'

'Uh huh.'

'Love me how?'

'Well, that's what he's worrying 'bout, I guess. Are you seriously tellin' me you didn't know this?'

'Well, I mean we've always been…. It's not that I wouldn't…. I….'

'Cus you'd make a pretty couple; I'd have to say that.'

She sat staring into space for many minutes, a slight flush on her face as she clearly thought about some of the highlights that might be involved in loving Angel. Spike waited until just the right moment and said, 'Course, lots of advantages; I can see that.'

She murmured, 'Hmm,' shifting slightly on her seat.

'You'd never 'ave to worry 'bout stair lifts, for a start.'


'When you got old. Or getting outta the bath… cus Angel'd be good like that.'

She stared at the disingenuous expression for many minutes. 'Will you be all right here on your own tonight?'

'Fred'll be here, why?'

'I'm taking some owed holiday.'

'Oh. Cool. How long?'

'As long as I can. Spike?'


'Does Angel listen to you?'


'Well, try to get him to get the stair lift thing. Try hard.'

She swept up her bag, most of the things in her drawer and left swiftly.

Spike pulled one of the dog's hairs off his jeans, smirking slightly, then went in search of Fred.

Fred turned, surprised when Spike knocked shyly at her door. 'It's just us tonight now, Pet. Cordy weren't well.'

'Oh! Shall I…?'

'She's gone. Here, I brought you some tea.'

'Oh! Thank you. Say it again…. I just love the way you say that….'

Spike grinned and handed it to her. She made a face. 'Eew.'

Spike's face fell. 'Sorry. It's some of Cordy's herbal. I can't do anything right around here.'

'No, I'm sorry. It's me. It's lovely… really.' She sipped bravely, smiling at him all the time.
Fred woke to the thought that she was back in the place she did not name in case giving it its name made it real once more. Everything hurt. She opened her eyes to a huge wave of relief when she realised she was in her own bed and safe… but everything still hurt. She turned and gave a small scream. The small scream woke Spike… naked Spike who was laying along side her. She looked down and screamed again, pulling the sheet up over her naked body. Spike gave her a horrified look and twitched a similar amount of covering over his body. They stared at each other in mutual horror for a while. Spike swallowed nervously. 'Did we…?'

She shook her head. 'I don't know?'

'What time is it?'

'I don't know.'

'What time are they getting back?'

'Oh! Charles….'

Spike took hold of her arm. 'Look. Nothing happened, okay? I would know. Trust me on this, Fred. I'm a vampire, and I would know. Don't tell Gunn. There is no need - nothing happened.'

She nodded and swallowed equally slowly. Spike gave a pleased little shake of her arm. 'Now, get up, get dressed, and we'll never talk of this again. Gunn trusts you implicitly. It's what makes you unique, isn't it? What makes you special to him. So, never tell him. What he doesn't know, won't hurt him.'

She took a long time thinking about this, her eyes as wide as an animal facing death. 'I have to go.'

'That's right. Get up….'

'No. Go. I have to go. I can't tell him, but I won't deceive him either. He deserves more than that. He deserves someone who is….' She didn't finish but turned away, her eyes filling.

'Hey, Pet, don't take this so seriously, yeah…? He'll never know. Where's the harm in that?'

She pulled all the sheet to her, climbed out of bed and, without looking back at him, said, 'Tell Angel I needed to see my parents.' She went toward the shower. 'Please be… out of my bed when I get back.'

Spike watched her walk out into the sunshine later that morning and stretched into the silence of the now friendless hotel.
Angel and Gunn arrived back a couple of hours after the sun set that evening. Gunn immediately began to run up the stairs. Spike said quietly, 'She's not there.'

'Where is she?'

'She had to go home. To her parents.'

'What? Texas? When? Why?'

'Dunno. Only she… wanted to see you 'fore she left, seemed real upset an' all.'

'Angel, man. I've gotta go….'

Angel frowned slightly and looked at Spike for a long time. Spike held his look and said helpfully, 'She had a phone call, like, just before. Seemed real upset.'

'Where's Cordy?'

'On a case.'

Gunn didn't wait to hear more and left.

Spike looked at Angel and grinned shyly. 'We're alone at last.'

Angel looked closely at him for another moment then laughed and relaxed. 'We are.'

'Have any ideas how we can make best use of it?'

'I have.'

'Those ideas involve me?'

'They do.'

'Come here, Angel.'

They kissed in the lobby, standing, lying on the couch, rolling on the floor. They kissed as they mounted the stairs, clothes peeling off and lying discarded as they passed. They kissed as they stood alongside the bed, and then they fell into its welcoming softness, and the kisses only grew in passion. Angel murmured into Spike's mouth, 'You okay about this now?'

Spike smiled slightly. 'Yes. Now I am.'

Suddenly, he twisted out from under Angel and sat on him, and they paused. Spike put a hand to each of Angel's arms and stretched them over his head, running his hands over the soft skin on the inside. Then he bent slowly and captured Angel's mouth, rubbing himself slightly on Angel's hard stomach. Angel felt a cool trail of liquid running over his skin and broke away to watch Spike's precum bubbling out of his flushed, erect penis. He flicked Spike off onto his back and rose darkly above him. He captured Spike's leg and began to raise it but paused at the slight frown on Spike's face. 'What now?'

'Nothin'. Only, I remember Dru didn't like this much. Said it hurt.'

Angel frowned, too. 'Yes. She did.'

'Huh. You…?'


'Oh. So you know. She didn't like it.'

'You don't want to?' Angel's voice was agonisingly low, as if forced out.

'No, I do. Only I think more… getting ready would be good.'

Angel visibly relaxed. 'That I can do. Didn't for her. But….'

'For me…?'

Angel captured Spike's face. 'I can't tell you what you mean to me, Spike. So I haven't bothered to try….'

'Try now?'

Angel clenched his jaw and sat up on Spike's belly. 'When I think of Darla, she makes me think of you. When I think of Buffy, I wished I'd tried harder then to have it be you. The main thing I regret about my soul, is that I could have loved you so much better, so much earlier.'

'Do you love me?'


'Is it really love?'

Angel bent down at Spike's wistful expression. 'Yes, yes, yes. I can't put it into words, Spike. But yes. I love you.'

'Do you need me?'

'I would die without you, I think.'

Spike pulled him down onto his mouth, and they kissed again, rolling in the bed, each struggling to get dominance. Angel let Spike win and once more lay supine between Spike's hard thighs. Spike stretched Angel's arms up again and captured his wrists in one hand. He grinned evilly. 'I'd like to be able to keep you like this. My prisoner.'

Angel raised an eyebrow. 'And what would you do, jailor?'

'I'd punish you.'

'What for?'

'For not doing this to me.' He dipped and bit one of Angel's small nipple buds. Angel arched off the bed, dislodging Spike's hand. Spike patiently grasped the wrists again.

Angel said huskily, 'What next?'

'Oh, I'd….' Spike began to slide down, as if moving to more interesting areas of Angel's anatomy then stopped when he couldn't do this and hold the wrists still at the same time. 'Bugger.'


'S good game, and I had all sorts of punishments worked out, but….' He frowned and pouted at Angel's offending wrists. Suddenly, he reached up and pulled out the manacles Angel had used to restrain him. Angel rolled out from under him. 'No.'

'Why not?'

'Because it's too…. I don't really….'

'Trust me. Oh.' He put the manacles down sadly.

'Spike, I love you more than I ever thought possible to love anyone again. I do… trust you.'

'But not enough. Don't worry, Pet. I wouldn't either. Only…. I wanted to put my face to you. If you'd have let me do this.'

One cool finger began to trail over the hot, bulbous tip of Angel's cock, tracing a pattern as if a tongue had already reached him.

Spike smiled seductively. 'If you let me chain you, I'll take you in my mouth. My tongue will bathe you….'

Spike took one of Angel's hands so softly in his free hand that taking it toward the manacle was more of a suggestion than a command. He snapped one bracelet home.

'Do you want me, Angel?'

'I want you with my soul, with my demon and with what is just me, Spike, yes.'

'That's so pretty. I kinda like that. So, again, how much do you want me to do this, Angel? Hmm… like this….' Spike suddenly shifted and, shockingly, took just the leaking tip of Angel's penis into his mouth. Angel cried out and put his remaining free hand to Spike's head to entwine his fingers into the soft blond hair. Spike pulled away.

Angel began to groan, deep sounds of frustration making his body shudder. 'I want you more than this damn unlife, Spike. I love you.'

Angel found his mouth possessed by Spike again. Then a coolness on his ear as Spike whispered urgently, 'Do you mean it, my love?'

'I love you.'

'No, do you love me more than your own life?'


'Will you come on a journey with me?'

'A journey?' Spike began to ease Angel's other wrist toward the remaining manacle.

'It was such a long journey, Angel.' He clicked the bracelet home. 'There. Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?'

'Hmm. I think we're both hard, Spike.'

Spike laughed. 'Kiss me, Angel.' He bent and placed a slow kiss on Angel's forehead then slid off him.

'Hey! Where'ya going?'

Spike slid a hand over the chains where they attached to the wall, checking their firmness.

'Nowhere, pet. I'm just going to get something that'll make this more… pleasurable for me. More memorable for you.'

'Oh. Good. Hurry up, cus I'm kinda….' Angel nodded down at his erection. Spike smiled once more and disappeared.

When he returned, he was fully dressed. Angel's eyes widened in surprise. 'This is getting weird, Spike. Are you kinky?'

Spike began to giggle. 'It's just that I wanted to help you out, Angel. I've been thinking about nothing else, and I think I've finally got it…. ' He produced a piece of paper from behind his back. Angel recognised it as the portrait he had tried to complete. Spike held it up, looking at it, shaking his head. 'I finished it for you, see? Did the eyes. Not sure I got the emotion right still.' He looked at Angel. 'It's hard to capture pure hatred in a pair of eyes. But hell, after all, who cares?' He slowly crumpled up the picture and tossed it casually onto Angel's belly.

Still giggling, he spun on his heel and began to leave. Just at the door, he stopped and said with a click of his fingers, as if remembering something important, 'By the way, my name was once William. It would have been better had you remembered that, Angel.'

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