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On Me - Chapter 8
I wake with Spike sleeping very
peacefully in my arms. His face is already healed and back to its beautiful
lines and planes of perfection.
I slip very quietly out from under him and arrange him comfortably on the bed,
noting with pleasure how well-healed most of his superficial wounds are.
Moving into the kitchen, I phone up to the office and leave a message on the
answer machine for Cordelia in the morning. I give her a very truncated version
of the truth: that Spike got attacked, that he’s badly hurt, and that I’m going
to take him away for a few days to heal quietly. Then I ring David. I know it’s
six pm, but this is too important to wait and, as I knew he would, David agrees
to my request immediately. Nothing left to do but pack up supplies.
While I wait for Spike to wake, I sit alongside him and watch him in his sleep.
I think he is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. And I had the power to
capture that beauty and make it mine for eternity. The first time I saw Will,
I knew I wanted him for my own. So I took him. Took his life, and made it mine.
And what have I done with that chance for endless happiness?
Wasted it.
Wasted years after I had my soul when I could have been with him. Certainly
wasted years in Sunnydale, obsessed with trying to be a perfect boyfriend to
a mortal girl. Wasted time when I came back as Angelus trying to break Spike
and Dru apart. And now, these years in LA, the most wasted of all. But I have
been given a second chance now, and I don’t intend to waste it this time. Spike
is stirring and opens his eyes slowly. I watch intently to see what happens
when the memories kick in. How will he cope with the knowledge of what’s happened
to him? To my surprise, he looks almost cheerful; he turns towards me with a
lazy stretch and a slow, shy smile.
'Evening, mate.'
I chuckle at him.
'What! I can say evening, can’t I?'
'Spike, you’ve had a traumatic experience; you’ve been incredibly, badly injured;
we’ve had a bath together, and you’ve fed from me, and all you can say is ‘evening’!
You are incredible; do you know that?'
'Well, yeah, pet, that’s me. The Big Bad.'
But his eyes don’t match his words, and I begin to think that he is hiding some
of his hurt and pain from me.
'You don’t have to, Spike, you don’t have to pretend with me any more, remember?
You know what I feel for you now. I have no secrets left, and I don’t want you
to either.'
He casts his eyes down and starts fidgeting with the covers.
'It’s hard, Angel. I don’t know how to talk; I don’t know what to say... but
thanks, you know, for what you did….'
I want this to be done with forever, so that it never comes between us again,
but I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t know what to say that won’t make
him leave me. Won’t force him to go, because he can’t stand staying with the
humiliation of what I had to do for him. I desperately need to think of something
quickly, or I will lose him. He is staring at me, waiting for a reply, so I
take a deep, unnecessary breath and go for the no-holds bared approach.
'Spike, I have spent over one hundred years at various times pushing things
up your backside, many of which, I seem to remember, got stuck and had to be
pulled back out again, painfully, and I don’t recall we ever found it a problem
before.'
Well, that’s putting your cards on the table. He’s staring at me like I’m mad.
Oh no, is he going to think I’ve just trivialised his experience?
What the….?
Spike is laughing, in great, uncontrollable gasps, and hey... he’s just pulled
me over on top of him, and he’s thrusting his tongue into my mouth, and I can’t
help it, but I start laughing, too, and here we are, a pair of naked vampires,
rolling around the bed, screaming with laughter, the tears streaming down our
faces, and we’re okay. We are going survive this.
He’s beautiful, and he’s mine and, right now, I think he’s glad he doesn’t need
to breath, cus he can’t stop laughing every time I try to kiss him. As much
as I love to hear my Sire laugh, cus that’s quite a rare privilege these days,
I want to kiss him more. Eventually, I take control of the situation, grab his
face between by hands, kneel us both up so we are facing each other, and place
a gentle, expectant kiss on his lips. I pull away and look into his eyes to
see if this is what he wants, and his smile, and slight flick of his tongue
over his lip, tells me that it is. It’s all the encouragement I need, and I
greedily plunder his mouth with my tongue in a frenzy of passion and lust, and
now love. We kiss and suck and bite, our hands moving in each other’s hair,
grasping and pulling ever closer and tighter. Then I push him away and, in a
swift motion, move behind him on the bed,
'Angel. I want you. I need you. Now.'
And I know why he wants me; he needs to feel dominant
again; he needs to be the one giving it and not taking it, so I submit readily,
because there’s nothing else I want, too. I have Spike back, and Spike wants
me, and there is nothing else I want from this world but this. This passion,
now.
He uses his tongue to make me ready, and I gasp in pleasure when the little
pink tip eases into my hole. He pulls it out a bit then thrusts it back in,
hard and fast, and I am already so hard I groan in frustration.
'Hold yourself, Angel. I want to watch you while I do it.'
Yea Gods, Spike’s low, husky voice whispers in my ear. I don’t hesitate; I take
my cock in my hand and start matching the thrusts of his tongue. But I am desperate
for more now, for him.
'Spike, pleeease. God, Will, now please!'
I never thought I’d hear Angel begging for me like this, and it’s all the encouragement
I need. I kneel up, take him round the waist in a firm grip, and plunge into
him with a hard, fast thrust. And I’m so desperate for release, that I think
I’m gonna come immediately, so I slow right down, making sure I make each thrust
count, hitting that spot that will send Angel over the edge.
'That’s it, Angel. Stroke yourself, long and hard, just like you like it. Yeah,
baby, what are you thinking now? Are you picturing what you look like taking
it up the arse?'
And the old Spike that I know so well comes back to me
in this moment, in this bed. At last, we return to the old relationship we were
both so desperately missing. No silences now, no averted eyes while we give
each other relief. Now, Spike is whispering his erotic accompaniment to our
act of love, and it sends shivers down my body and pushes me over the edge –
as it was intended to do.
Angel is arching back his neck, and I can feel he won’t last much longer.
I lean over him and lick his ear, and he is losing it. I can feel him speed
up, and I do the same, and we are cresting together on a wave that only we can
feel. He cums in great ropey strands over his hands and the bedcovers, and I
push him down as I fill him with my cold seed, gasping for air I don’t need
and release that I do.
We lie together in companionable silence for a moment,
but Spike can never really be still or silent for any length of time and, before
long, he is pushing me over onto my back and sits straddling my hips. He winces
a little as he sits on me.
'Are you sure you are okay, Spike? I shouldn’t have let you do that. You should
be resting.'
'Shut the fuck up, Angel', he says with a grin, 'I’m not an invalid. I’m a master
vampire, remember mate?'
'Oh yeah', I say. 'I forgot there for a moment, what with all the yabbering
in my ear.'
'Didn’t hear you complaining at the time, mate. From where I was, seems like
you liked it just fine.' I start to move imperceptibly against Angel, just rocking
so gently I could pass it off as shifting to a more comfortable position.
'Stop it!'
I know what he’ s doing; he’s insatiable, always has been, and I know he’s rocking
on my cock deliberately. 'Stop that right now, mister, I’ve got plans for you,
and we need to be getting going. NOW!'
He gives me one of his best pouts, and speeds up a bit. It’s having the desired
effect, as I’m rock-hard again already. But it’s not going to work this time.
'Spike! Stop that. Stop. STOP,' and with that, I flip him off me and pin him
to the bed. It’s okay, because we are laughing again, and this is fun: just
the two of us here together on this bed. 'Spike, I have borrowed a friend of
mine’s cabin for a few days. I want you to get away from LA while you heal,
and I don’t want you bothered by Cordelia, or Wes, or my work. But it’s some
hours away, so we have to leave. Now!'
'OK, mate, sounds good to me.' Angel starts to get off me, but I do one of my
famous, sneaky moves and slide right down underneath him so instead of him sitting
on my hips, he’s on my chest, and his cock is in reach of my mouth. And never
one to miss an opportunity, I flick my tongue out and lick the swollen, purple
end as it bobs near my lips.
Ye Gods, the sneaky bastard, but, ohhhh... that’s good.
I’m sitting on his chest, and he has taken my cock in his mouth. He’s running
his tongue over the tip, swirling it round the hole and….
SHIT
He’s bitten me! He’s let one fang descend, and he’s pierced me and he’s... ohhhhhh...
he’s sucking my blood through my cock, and it feels soooo good, and I throw
my head back and arch up onto my knees, grabbing him around the back of the
neck and pulling him harder into my crotch.
'God, Spike! Suck me, harder, faster, shit, Spike, I’m going to come, oh, oh,
arhhhh!'
And I shoot my seed into the back of his throat where it mixes with my blood,
and he swallows the potent mix in great, long, delighted gulps, and I feel as
though I will never stop pumping, so great is the pleasure I have in this intimacy
with Spike.
He goes limp in my mouth, and I just suck him gently for a while, reluctant
to let him go. I love the feel and taste of his cock in my mouth, and I enjoy
the moment.
'You are in so much trouble now, mister. I said no more.
I said it was time to go; now, get your backside up off this bed and pack your
extensive wardrobe; we are going!'
But he’s smiling at me, and I know he’s pleased with himself, cus I’ve now got
a raging hard on again, and I can see he’s got no intention of doing anything
about it. But, sod it, as he said, we’ve all the time in the world. So, instead,
I just pull myself up to sitting, place my forehead against his, and stare into
his eyes, holding his head steady under the chin.
'Angel. I’m only going to say this once, so you’d better be listenin’ in good.'
I could drown in those blue eyes; he’s trying to say something
important, but I can’t hear him; my heart is singing too loud at this closeness;
my blood is screaming for his blood, and I can literally hear his arousal, and
I want to make it talk to me some more.
'Angel! You’re not listening.'
'OUCH! Fuck, Spike that hurts.'
'Well, if you listen, I’ll let go.' Nothing like a twist of the ole bollocks
to get my Sire’s attention. 'Now, do I have your full attention?'
Bastard's smirking at that little move. Just you wait,
Spike, 'til.... 'Ahhh, YES! I’m listening, WHAT?'
'Nothing really, mate, ‘cept I want to tell you that I didn’t mean what I said
in Sunnydale. ‘Bout Marcus. I’ve been fucking miserable the last few weeks,
and I, for one, am not gonna let this go. So, that’s it; you have me in your
life now, so you’d better make room for me and my shit, cus I need space, and
I need attention, an’ I need you. Now, tomorrow, forever.'
I can think of nothing to say. I am stunned. When did I ever think I was older
and wiser than this bleached maniac staring at me from all of three inches away?
He said it first! He has laid his cards on the table here, and the ball's in
my court… dammit stop thinking in metaphors, Angel. So, what can I say to prove
I love him, too, and that I want him, too? Nothing. I say nothing. Instead I
gently cup my hand behind his neck, and I kiss him with a tender, gentle kiss,
and I send my blood message to him that I know he will be able to hear. ' I
love you, too, Spike, and I want you here, now, and I’ll want you forever, but
get the fuck up now, because we have to GO!'
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1 | 2 | 3 |
4 | 5 | 6 |
7 | 8 | 9 |
10 | 11 | |