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Chapter 3

It was just as Spike had described: small, puckered, and enticing. Why did he want to lick there? It seemed so strange that he should, but he did it anyway, groaning faintly at the feel of that uneven skin under his sensitive tongue. Spike was trying to skitter further up the bed away from his tongue, but Giles held onto his thighs, only raising them higher and giving himself better access. He nuzzled slightly higher for a moment, intrigued by the softness of the sac, its swinging vulnerability… but this was not what was supposed to be happening. Where were the anger and the violence that Spike had wanted? They had ruined his holiday. They had ruined his last-ditch attempt to do what he needed to do, giving life to lifeless spaces on gloomy walls; so let them ruin the vampire's day, too. Giles bit into the soft skin and felt the balls recoil beneath his teeth. Spike made a noise, a muffled scream, and Giles looked up at the sound, then down. Nothing. He was still soft. Fury began to grow again. It was Spike's fault somehow, and Giles wanted him to pay. He felt rather dizzy and sick, though, as the effects of the alcohol began to recede, and the after effects kicked in: pounding heart, rancid stomach, biliousness that made him wince, and a hideous, raging thirst.

Giles climbed off the bed and went back into the bathroom. He drank pint after pint of water and took a handful of aspirin. He sat on the edge of the bath, his head in his hands. After a while, he went back into the bedroom. Spike had clearly been trying to free himself; blood once more trickled down the pale wrists where he'd been twisting and pulling against the restraints.

Giles, not catching Spike's eye, went up and ripped off the tape. Spike turned his face away as the human worked on the manacles, but Giles heard a soft, 'It were just a fantasy for you; 's all.'

He ignored the soft, plaintive words, turned, and went downstairs. He knew now that he would not become the man he was expected to be in Spike's pain or humiliation.

When Spike came down, he hesitated for a moment looking at the human's back. Assuming he was completely free to escape, he did, out into the cool night air.

Giles heard him go but only shaded his eyes with his hand and clenched his jaw against the unmanly tears that threatened to come.

Giles assumed that Spike had left Sunnydale, because he did not see him for many days. He mentioned this to Buffy one day, pretending an anxiety that he did not feel that the vampire ought to be recaptured. He was more than a little surprised by her look, 'Recaptured? Why recapture, Giles? He's not left us alone for days. He comes to us; you know he does.' At Giles' complete look of mystification, she added rather sharply, 'You must have seen him! He comes over to scrounge food all the time… you did see him! Today! He was in the kitchen… you came in… no. Maybe he'd just left… I don't remember.'

Xander chipped in helpfully. 'Yeah, he was sort of tagging along with me the other night on a patrol, being irritating and trying to get me to buy him some smokes. You remember, Giles. You arrived and helped me… okay, thinking back now. Maybe he'd gone by then.'

Willow looked at them both. 'He's seemed really weird, hasn't he? He was all quiet and….'

'Yesss. I thought it was just me! I mean, no way would I buy him cigarettes, but you know? He was so damned depressed; I almost weakened.'

'I did.' Buffy looked up guiltily. 'Well, my Mom did, I guess. She's started giving him hot chocolate to feed him up a bit. She thinks he's too thin, and she swears he's depressed.'

Giles turned away and Buffy looked rather anxiously at him. 'What's wrong? Anything I can do.'

Giles hesitated and then said with some relief, 'Yes, actually there is, Buffy.'


Spike did not particularly want to go to a meeting at Giles' house, even though the Slayer had said the watcher would not actually be there. The place held too many associations of powerlessness, and want and need that were not reciprocated. He was happy for the children to feed him in exchange for useless, often made-up information, but facing the cool, more astute look of the watcher was another matter… and then, of course, there was the minor matter of the attempted rape.

He had wanted to kill the human so much it hurt.

That he didn't want to now, hurt almost more.

Dutifully, he turned up at the appointed time, found the door open so went in.

Giles was in the kitchen, making some tea, no Scoobies in sight.

He turned away from Spike and said neutrally, 'The meeting was cancelled. Your other clothes are upstairs. I found them in the wash. Get them if you want them….'

Spike had begun to back away when he'd seen Giles but, at the cool neutrality of his tone, he gave a vicious curse and stormed towards the stairs. The bathroom was empty, so he went hesitantly towards the bedroom. He really didn't want to go in but pushed the door with the toe of his boot, took a mental grip on himself, and marched in.

Soft candlelight flickered, sending strange shadows all around the walls. An aria floated out of the speakers and a bottle of wine and two glasses stood on the bedside table. Spike sensed Giles standing behind him. He felt the human come closer, stand so close their clothes were touching. Then closer, so Giles' body gently touched Spike all over.

Giles sensed Spike about to speak, so slid a hand around, placing the lightest of touches from his warm palm to the cool lips. 'Shh. This is just a fantasy: no more, no less. Don't say anything.'

So he didn't. They both knew this was something better not rationalised or discussed. It just was: just them, just two matching bodies needing relief, two people who, unexpectedly, against all odds, found each other desirable.

Giles began to undress Spike from behind, finding each button on the shirt slowly, sliding the material off the bony shoulders, raising unresisting arms and pulling off the soft T-shirt. He pulled the semi-naked body back against him and hugged the hard, slim body. It felt utterly right.

Spike felt a bulge swelling and twitching against his backside and smiled. He turned and, without catching Giles' eye, unbuttoned his shirt, too. Then he turned and poured two glasses of the deep red wine. Crawling onto the bed, he raised his eyes and offered one to Giles.

At the look, Giles crawled onto the bed beside him and took a glass, drinking quickly. After that, things began to speed up, both anxious to feel more and see more. Jeans came off: boots, shoes, discarded and forgotten, more wine poured and spilt as hands explored the new nakedness. Spike let Giles take the lead, sensing the watcher needed to find something, prove something with this act.

He didn't object when he was pushed onto his back; he didn't object when hand lotion was poured over him. He didn't object when the watcher, achingly hard, pushed in with almost no preparation and began, with his eyes firmly shut, to raise and lower himself onto the pale, accommodating body.

Giles came swiftly: a slight gasp, a sudden stillness, and Spike felt his bowels awash with warm sperm. Giles slipped out and tipped to one side, lying spent and panting in the soft, diffused light.

Spike was unsure what to do next but suddenly Giles reached over and took Spike in his hand. Spike reared up slightly with a hissed 'Yesss' - the first sound he had made all evening. It seemed to affect Giles out of all proportion to the level of noise, for he knelt up next to Spike and worked him intently, expertly. It took no time at all. Before he'd hardly begun to enjoy the sight and feel of the velvety shaft, before he'd begun to explore the soft sac or the leaking entrance, Spike came in shooting plops onto his belly and over Giles' hand.

He put a hand down to stop Giles, wincing slightly at the eager hands on his new sensitivity, but, in grasping the wrist to still it, managed to indicate that he wasn't adverse to the human lying down close to him. Giles allowed Spike to pull him down, and they lay close but not actually touching, and not speaking at all.

Giles watched Spike reach around for his cigarettes, watched as the vampire lit one carefully and smoked it slowly, each raise and lower of the hand avidly studied. When Spike had nothing but a small stub left, he flicked it away onto the floor and said conversationally, 'Gotta go now.'

Giles roused slightly. 'Why?'


'Oh.' He watched Spike dress. As the vampire went towards the door he paused and said softly, 'See ya then.'

Giles looked at the face that was slightly turned to him in profile and took a small leap of faith. 'Tomorrow night?'

Spike's expression did not change, but he replied almost as quietly, ''K.'

Giles lay for a long time in the soiled bed before he could summon the enthusiasm to leave it.


Spike arrived in the doorway of the apartment just after the sun went down the next day.

They didn't even speak. They went up the stairs and into the bedroom, undressing as they went: hands eager to touch bare skin, eyes wanting to see and enjoy. No preliminaries, they both just fell on the bed, not bothering too much who did what to whom. All that mattered was the getting off; all that mattered were those elusive, explosive orgasms that they set off in each other. Giles pushed roughly into Spike once more, jerking himself in and out of the welcoming hole, until that so-needed shudder consumed him, and he groaned his orgasm deep into the vampire's rectum once more. Once again, he assisted Spike get off by taking the pale, thick penis in his hands and, on the slickness of the ice-cool precum, working the shaft, until the vampire, with a great cry of relief, came again onto his smooth, unmoving chest.

As if deliberately replaying the previous scene, Spike lit up once more. This time, he smoked slightly faster but, again, the butt was flicked out into the space alongside the bed.

He sat up and swung his legs off the bed. 'See ya then.'

'Don't go.' Giles didn't know why he said it, but he waited to see what response it would get. Spike paused, his back to Giles.

'Like I said, got stuff to do.'

'Such as?'


Giles couldn't keep the slight edge of annoyance out of his voice. 'Why don't you feed before you come over?'

At that, Spike did turn his face slightly - still not looking at Giles, but at some small shadow on the wall just to one side of the space he occupied.

'What's the difference?'

Giles used his I-am-now-speaking-slowly-to-Xander-Harris voice. 'Because, if you fed earlier, you wouldn't get hungry and have to go.'

Spike also used his I-am-speaking-to-that-wanker-Xander-Harris voice. 'I fucking got that bit, tosser. Why would I want to stay?'

Giles had no answer to this, other than the one that was screaming from his subconscious to be let out and listened to, so he only shrugged slightly and said nonchalantly, 'Once enough for vampires now, is it then?'

Whether Spike also had a persistent, subconscious thought also trying to mess with his head, Giles didn't know, but he did watch the vampire lie down again with some relief. He made no move towards him though - now he had him - but turned fully onto his back and pillowed his head on his folded arms.

After what seemed like an age, amazed by the comfortableness of lying together and the sense of companionship that there was in the silence, Spike turned his head on the pillow and looked at the human. He was about to say something when a huge, not-to-be-ignored rumble issued forth from his belly. He clamped a hand on the offending stomach and chuckled slightly.

Giles had the grace to look a little guilty. 'Maybe we should just get on with it and then you can go.'

'Maybe I'm not gonna do nothin' 'til I do get fed… for free like.' The crassness of this observation was softened by the slightly cheeky tone of the vampire's voice.

Giles sat up. His reply was also softened by quiet amusement. 'Are you attempting to blackmail me?'

Spike chuckled. 'Maybe. Free blood, or I do an avoidance act even better than the one I've been doing!'

Giles frowned and thought about this for a long time, eventually saying, 'You don't find the rent-boy associations of that utterly distasteful?'

Spike looked carefully at the watcher's expression and said, so quietly that Giles strained to hear, 'Do you?'

Giles looked down into a pair of deeply dilated blue eyes. His reply was not soft at all. He groaned out in a strangled, agonised tone, 'No! In fact….' He turned fully and caught hold of Spike's thigh. He knelt between the pale legs once more and, on the slick easiness of his own spent cum, took Spike again, the thought of this slim boy fucking with him for food, having an entirely unexpected, unlooked for, and inexplicable effect on his penis.

Spike seemed as turned on by the idea as Giles was. He writhed beneath the heavier body, giving out soft moans of pleasure. Suddenly, at a small shift of position, he let out a high-pitched gasp and grabbed frantically at Giles' shoulders. 'Bloody hell!'

Giles opened his eyes and looked at Spike beneath him and deliberately thrust again in the same position. Spike's nails began to dig into Giles, and he removed his hands swiftly, urgently begging Giles to do it again. Stiffened beyond what he thought possible by the begging, Giles kept thrusting to that spot. Mystified by why Spike seemed to like it so much, he watched, fascinated, and not a little pleased, when the vampire came before him: small squirts of cum plopping down onto the flat belly. Spike was not even holding his erection, but still came loudly and enjoyably beneath Giles' thrusting body. Giles watched the cum; he listened to the expletives; he felt the wriggling; he smelt the intense musky essence of the vampire's sex, and he came with a vast, almost bone-shaking shudder into Spike's body, working the cum out of his shaft with bewildered delight. Entirely unaware that he spoke at all, he let out a juddering, shocked, 'Oh….'

Utterly exhausted, he tipped like a dead body off Spike. He lay panting, unable to think or speak.

Spike naturally recovered first and gave a long, uncharacteristic sigh, 'Again… bloody hell!'

Giles managed a small chuckle. 'I concur.'

Spike turned his face and looked at him with an amused, friendly expression. 'Guess the rent-boy fantasy's a goer then?'

Giles turned on his side toward Spike and made to touch him, but withdrew the gesture, and ran his fingers through his hair instead. Well aware his weak save had been seen through, he said with a small, self-deprecating smile, 'Yes, I rather think it might be.'

Once more they lay side-by-side in a companionable silence until suddenly Giles reached down and pulled a blanket up over them both. He felt Spike tense. He sensed the vampire's very strong urge to flee but only heard an amused comment, 'You ain't paid me yet.'

Giles groaned as, unbelievably, his penis twitched once more. He told it, silently, not to be silly and replied, 'I'll have to get some in then… for the next time?'

Relieved, he heard Spike chuckle and felt him relax more into the softness of the bed. The vampire turned his back to Giles and moved slightly away to find space, but he didn't seem opposed to talking. 'Seein' you're such a sad old fuck, think I'll add summit else, what'd'ya reckon? Maybe being cold and needing warming up occasionally - see if that extra patheticness gets you all riled up some more. Shall I fuck you for warmth, human?'

Giles, closer than Spike had realised to his ear, said reasonably, 'You don't feel the cold.'

Spike flipped over onto his stomach, folded his arms as a pillow, and watched Giles through lowered lids. He nodded amiably. 'Bummer, hey? What else do I need then?'

Giles, more overwhelmed by this conversation with Spike than he had been at actually having sex with the vampire, propped up on one elbow, and said unexpectedly, 'Love?'

Spike mirrored his position, their faces only inches away; the candlelight making this too close proximity quite bearable. He pouted for a moment, thinking. 'So… in this fantasy of yours, I come 'ere cus I'm hungry, but really cus I need love?'

Giles chuckled. 'You're quick, Spike; I'll give you that. I've been feeding you, looking after you, and it's the only love you've ever really known….'

'Cus I'm this rent-boy character?'

'Exactly. So… you've fallen in love with me.'

'Huh. 'K, so what then?'

Giles smiled. 'Give it a few days, Spike. We need to get to there first.'

'Oh, I can get to loving you real quick.' Hearing this out loud, Spike immediately reached for his cigarettes and lit one. After a few drags, he swung his legs out of the bed and began to dress.

Giles watched the pale figure, his heart sinking.

When his boots were on to his satisfaction, Spike turned. 'So… I'll see you, yes?'

Giles - relieved, delighted, aroused once more - stretched in the dampness of the bed, physically very content. 'I should jolly well hope so; I'm paying you, remember?'

Spike frowned for brief moment but Giles, staring at the ceiling, did not notice. Then Spike shrugged and replied equally teasingly, 'Yeah… course. See ya then.'

He left.

He was back before Giles really had a chance to assimilate what had happened. A short, exhausted lie-in and a shower later, he was dressed and about to leave for the shop when Buffy, Xander, and Willow arrived, chatting excitedly about some new big nasty in town. A few paces behind - as if he were entirely part of the early-morning research wake-up call and not covered by a piece of hessian and not already slightly on fire - was Spike.

He shed any initial reticence as easily as he shed the hessian and threw himself into a chair, lighting up and trying to ignore the four humans' astonished looks. Finally, unable to bluff any longer, he looked up. 'What? I've got bloody information. Do you want it?'

Buffy huffed disbelievingly, but turned to continue her conversation with Giles, so they all followed her lead and sat around with their books, beginning the research process.

Spike leant back, smoking. Giles knew he was being watched. He felt that cool stare like tiny erotic fingers investigating his personality, exploring the places and the feelings he kept hidden from everyone else.

After half an hour, Spike stretched and yawned theatrically, and then threw out into the room to no one in particular, ''Bout time I got bloody fed, ain't it?'

No one took any notice except Giles who looked up from the book he hadn't been reading and said distinctly, 'But you haven't earned it yet, have you Spike?'

Spike almost gaped. He was instantly hard… he'd meant it! The fucking watcher had meant all that shit in the bed last night! He actually wanted to play games! Spike was so erect he could hardly walk, but he did, up the stairs slowly and precisely.

Again, no one took any notice of what Spike did, except Giles. He almost felt the air around him want to mount those stairs, too. His legs were weak with excitement when he stood. His hands shook from repressed desire. He made a reasonable excuse for going upstairs; no one took any notice, and he followed Spike's essence up the stairs.

The vampire was leaning against the wall in the hall, just out of sight of the room below. He had one leg bent up, and his head was tipped back, eyes closed, smoking.

He couldn't have looked more seductive; he was the epitome of cheap sex. Giles smiled at this thought and allowed himself the excitement of the moment.

Spike turned his head as he appeared and looked him over frankly. Giles ignored him and went on into the bedroom. Spike followed. Giles spun around and caught Spike by the back of his neck. He pushed him to the wall and forced him to his knees. With slightly unsure hands, Spike got Giles out. Their positions then reversed, Giles' back against the wall, Spike nuzzling into the veined underside of the thick, ready cock.

They could still hear the voices downstairs. They didn't care. Spike swallowed Giles deeply and began a job on the human that made him fling his arm across his mouth, biting into the soft flesh to keep from crying out. The sensation was indescribable, but Giles had never wanted to cry from sexual pleasure until now.

He heaved his orgasm into Spike's mouth, shuddering, his legs unable to support him, his fingers buried deep into the blond hair, using the kneeling figure to hold him up.

Spike kept the soft, spent penis in his mouth for a while, just enjoying the after play, but Giles pulled away and tucked himself in. When his breathing returned to normal, he went downstairs, uncaring how the vampire relieved his very obvious need.

He only said, with nonchalant disdain, when Spike came down some minutes later, 'You've been very useful this morning, Spike. Take some blood from the fridge, why don't you?'

If he got slightly incredulous looks from the humans who hadn't noticed Spike doing anything more useful than polluting the atmosphere with smoke and being generally, habitually, annoying, Giles ignored them and went into the kitchen. He took a bag of blood from the fridge and put it into the microwave, well aware that Spike had followed him in and was leaning on the counter close behind him.

He poured the blood into a mug and only then turned to Spike. As he handed the mug over, their fingers touched briefly. Giles glanced down at the chipped black nails that had so recently raked their way down his body. He shook himself slightly and looked up, releasing the mug.

Spike watched him through lowered lids as he drank. The look was wicked, innocent, puzzled, sure, frank, closed off and protective - it was all the contradictions of this odd relationship. Finally, Spike handed the mug back and, with a small, quite genuine smile, said, 'I needed that.'

Giles nodded with an amused quirk to his lips, glanced briefly at the youngsters in the other room and said softly, 'Not as much as I did, I suspect.'

Spike bent his head and lit a cigarette to hide his grin then grabbed his blanket and left.

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