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Learning To Share - Chapter 16
Eventually I run out of things to break, so I strip
off and fling myself on the bed. I know I'm reverting to that needy minion shit
I told him I was giving up. But fuck. It was supposed to be both of us changing.
Both of us making an effort. Seems to me, it's all been me doing all the hard
work. I hear him come in behind me. I'm good at feigning indifference. You get
good at it when everybody in yer life shits on you. I think he's going to slide
in next to me, so I'm kinda surprised when he grabs my wrists and pins me face
down on the bed…and lies on me. Angel's at least forty pounds heavier than me,
so no way am I gonna move some time soon. But I ain't gonna give in without
a fight. I writhe around trying to buck him off. But he only leans in to whisper
in my ear, 'I'm really enjoying this. Wriggle some more.'
'Fuck you.' I scream at him. 'Get off me NOW! I am not your fucking Childe anymore.
Remember?'
'Spike. Calm down.'
'How fucking dare you say that to me. Get off NOW!' I'm practically crying with
frustration, cus I really want him to get off. Don’t want him to see me cry.
'Spike. Why did I tell you, you are gorgeous?'
What? What is the git trying to trick me with now? 'Cus you are a total wanker.
NOW GET OFF.'
'Spike. Why did I tell you, you are gorgeous?'
'Are you fucking mad? I've just told you. You were playing soddin' games with
me head, that's why.'
'Spike. Why did I tell you, you are gorgeous?'
'Ahhhh…shut up. Shut up. Let me up. Shut up. What do you want me to say?'
'Spike. Why did I tell you, you are gorgeous?'
'Oh Shit, just let me go already. Cus I am. There! Happy? Cus I bleeding am.'
And I don't believe it, but he just chuckles against my bare back, and places
sweet, gentle kisses up my spine.
'Spike. Why did I tell you, you are gorgeous?'
I can't help but laugh, too, cus you are a poof, that's why, Angelus, and cus
I fucking am. I am. And you fancy me. Now let me up.' And he does. But slowly,
releasing one wrist at a time, kissing all the way up each arm as he lets go,
turning me over slowly, kissing around my side and over my belly. He slides
in behind me, spooning me to him and just rubs his hand lightly round and round
on my thigh.
'Don't ever doubt me again, Spike. I don't like it.'
'Bully.'
'No…just boss.'
'Shirt lifter.'
'Ass licker.'
'Angel!'
‘Spike?’
‘Spike?’
‘Umm.’
‘Are you asleep?’
‘Is that the stuff that when you’re doin’ it, you can’t talk to poofs. Cus if
it is, then yeah, I am.’ But I don’t try too hard to convince him, cus I’m really
hoping that the hand he is swirling over my hip will dip down to my ever-willing
cock. Doesn’t. Dips the other way. Only Angel could have a rational conversation
whilst pushing two fingers in and out of me arse. Won’t tell ‘im he doesn’t
need to. Won’t tell ‘im just lying here with ‘im, talking is what I wanted.
What I love. Nah, won’t tell ‘im cus I love shagging too!
‘Why didn’t you tell me what you were planning, Spike?’
‘Cus you’re a...ahhh, yeah, just there...wuss, mate. You’d have stopped me and
we need the friggin’ cash!’
‘We got it.’
‘Eh?’
‘Wesley got it...whilst we were...err...otherwise engaged.’
‘The bleedin’ turncoat!’
‘He’s not, Spike, he’s my loyal employee and my friend...you on the otherhand...’
‘That hand’ll do nicely, pet...ahh, again, just there, umm,’ and he pushes another
finger in. He starts stretching his fingers apart, scratching his nails down
my inner walls. I practically leap off the edge of the bed. So he calms down
and just gently slides them in and out, in and out. He clearly doesn’t want
me to come just yet.
‘Spike.’
‘What?’ It’s real hard to talk when you’re picturing your Sire’s arse bleeding
and weeping round your thick cock. ‘What?’
‘Don’t grow up too fast. Please.’
Now that’s a show-stopper. I pull off his fingers and turn in the bed to find
him propped up on his elbow, watching me. I mirror his position and match his
gaze.
‘You will always be my Childe, Spike. Even though you’re now my...’ he frowns
and looks away.
‘What?’ I say, with an embarrassingly rising note in my voice. ‘What am I now?’
‘I don’t know Spike. I’ve been thinking about it at lot since your...dream.
Since we’ve started anew. And I just don’t know.’ He seems genuinely sad and
worried. He plucks nervously at the sheet while he talks, not catching my eye
now. ‘It was all so simple then. You were the favorite of all my Childer. The
most beloved...but I loved you all. You know that...we all loved...together.
There was rarely just the two of us. Then when you came to LA we were like that
again, Sire and Childe. Only we were alone. But now?’ and he looks me straight
in the eye, ‘I’d kill you if there was anyone else, Spike. So what does that
make us?’
‘Err...lovers, pet?’ He looks aghast. Sick even.
‘No! We’re not lovers! That’s...god, I hate to use one of your expressions,
that’s too poofy! I am NOT a poof!’
‘Yes you are,’ I say mildly.
‘Well, what about you then?’ he retorts, clearly quite upset by the turn of
this conversation. ‘You’re not...poofy...how would you like someone to call
me your lover!’
Oh fucking hell! I’ll be wearing denim shorts next. ‘No fucking way on this
earth Mate are you my lover! It’s too hideous to think about.’ This is blood.
Guts. Fucking need. ‘I fuck you...I do NOT make love to you. I am NOT your lover.’
‘You suggested it Spike. You said lovers. Not me!’
Oh God. I roll over onto my back and he does the same and we stare at the ceiling
from our respective sides of the bed.
‘Partners?’
‘Oh Christ...that’s worse!’
‘Companions?’
‘Not in this un-lifetime.’
‘Sleeping friends?’
‘Fuck off.’
‘Soulmates?’
‘Ain’t got one.’
‘Boy...ouch!’
‘Hard warriors who follow a vampire code of male bonding rituals?’
‘Better, but a bit long for initial introductions to clients.’
‘Close frie...ouch! Stop hitting me.’
‘Sire and Childe?’
‘Sire and favorite Childe?’
‘Sire and only Childe left. Ow!’
‘Sire and most favored of all Childer.’
‘Kind of long again.’
‘No names then, mate? Just us. No labels?’
‘So I’ll tell them you are my...undefined relationship, shall I?’
‘Tell who?’
‘Cordelia and Wesley. Isn’t that what we’ve been discussing, what to tell Cordy
and Wes, about us?’
‘Oh. They already know. Hey! Don’t growl at me, pet. I think the fact that we’ve
been permanently hard for the last two weeks, often...rumpled...frequently showering...constantly
coming down here for ‘training sessions,’ rather gave it away. So I told ‘em.
Only fair really.’
‘What did you tell them, Spike. About us. Exactly what favored term did you
use to describe...this,’ he sits up and swings his legs off the bed, facing
away from me. He’s clearly angry, his back is all tense and rigid.
I slide over to him and just rest lightly against him. He doesn’t pull away.
‘It was easy, pet. I just told ‘em that we’re family. We’re blood. We’re forever.’
It’s some time before we both pull apart enough to speak again. The frenzy of
his need for me seemed overwhelming. But something is clearly still bothering
him. He looks at me with those huge brown eyes, raw with pain and doubt.
‘So, this is just...fucking then, is it, Spike? Is that all you’re doing with
me?’
‘Oh, you total tosser, Angel. I just knew you wouldn’t let that get past ya.
What do you think, mate? What do you think I’m doing when I do this...’ and
I kiss him, gently over both eyes. ‘What do you think this is all about...’
I move down and bite his nipple till it is erect and hard. ‘And this...?’ I
swallow the end of his cock, pushing my tongue against the slit, pulling his
foreskin up around us both. ‘This is all just fucking, you reckon, mate?’
He pulls me up till I am half lying on his chest and smiles at me, kissing me
deeply. Then holding me tightly to him he falls asleep with his face resting
on my hair.
I’m not sure what’s been decided in this bed tonight. I never really know what
goes on in the poof’s deep, angst-filled brain. But I reckon he’s about as happy
tonight as he’s ever gonna get. Family. Blood. Forever. Don’t get any better
than that.
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1 | 2 | 3 |
4 | 5 | 6 |
7 | 8 | 9 |
10 | 11 | 12 |
13 | 14 | 15 |
16 | 17 | 18 |
19 | 20 | 21 | |