Learning To Share - Chapter 20
It's like being a God. I can do and say anything I like. He's so funny. He'd kill me for saying it, but looking at his incensed self-righteousness, I can't help but think it. He is just so funny. He's blaming everyone else because he can't bite me!
What shall I target first, what shall I use to get under his skin, provoke him enough to precipitate this lesson? Oh yeah, his reputation as the Big Bad.
'Did you just try to kiss me? Are you trying to pick me up? Are you cruising? And what's wrong with your head?'
He's incandescent with rage by his failed attempt to bite me being taken for a gay sex prelude. And wait for it, come on Spike, notice who you are talking to…oh yes, there we are, he's noticed it's me. Well, my human body. I don’t think I've ever seen Spike speechless before. When he hasn't got my cock in his mouth that is. I remember telling Faith once that I was a good actor. I was just practicing. I don't let the slightest hint cross my face that I am me. That I am anything but a bemused, outraged young human. This is interesting. I've never had the opportunity before to see Spike when he wasn't with me. When he wasn’t responding to me. I'm going to see him now, as he is when I'm not there. Jesus. They say you should never listen to other people's overhead conversations about you. That you might not like what you hear. But this is worse. I'm going to find out exactly what Spike thinks of me. And I might not like it.
But he's invited me to go with him, so he must like something he sees. If that enormous bulge in his pants is anything to go by that is.
I don't know why he decided to go to Giles' house, or what he hoped to achieve, but I'm glad we have somewhere relatively safe, out of the sun, which is only a few hours away. I can't help play the Sire role, even now. Even though I am in the body of a young man, even though I am cold, tired and hungry.
He's still being funny. He's circling me, looking at my hair, my body, my backside. I know he's weighing me up, trying to decide what to do with me. When we get to Giles' house I sit quietly on the couch while he sits facing me, downing one drink after another. I can't believe how erotic it is, sitting here with a drunk, pissed off, confused Spike when I am in a vulnerable, blood-filled body. I want to reach out and touch his bulge. I want to get him out and suck that cold cock, warm it in my mouth. I want that cold cock in me, in my warm body. I want to feel flooded with his cold cum. But he's not focusing on this at all. He's obviously trying to think, so that's taking most of his energies. He's seems to be planning something, and I don't feel that it's going to be optional.
I take myself off to bed. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that that will be the catalyst to this situation. As though I have lain on this bed before, waiting for Spike. I undress and stretch my warm, soft human body out onto the bed. This is the bit I've been looking forward to ever since Tara suggested I come into this dream world with Spike. I look down. Oh yes. That's nice. That's got to be at least two inches longer than my own. Does it feel good to? Oh yes. Again. But this is not good. I can't actually remember the last time I had an erection and didn’t immediately plunge it into Spike. Somewhere or other. Doing it myself just isn't as much fun as it used to be. Before Spike. And this is not my body. This feels a bit like doing someone else.
So, still good then.
I hear him coming up the stairs and feign sleep. That's not so easy to do now I have to breathe. Now I have a heartbeat. He moves to the end of the bed and stands quietly watching me as though he's trying to decide something. I help him make his mind up. I turn onto my back, and let my huge cock bounce against my stomach. Come on Spike, bite me. Kiss me. Do something. He does. He starts to crawl up the bed towards me, slowly, stealthily. When he reaches my neck he puts his mouth lightly on me. I am so hard I feel I could explode hot cum over us both right now. His lips touch me. I desperately want him to do this…ohh…my God, he sinks his teeth into my warm, human neck. I arch back to give him complete access and pull him onto me so he is lying on my cock. As he jerks and spasms in his ecstasy of feeding I let my engorged cock rub under him. I can feel the precum oozing out, soaking the front of his clothes. I try desperately to come to orgasm, but as I feel my blood draining out of my body, I lose the ability. I start to sink into a deep, dark realm. I've been here before, with Darla. I remember the creamy fullness of her dead breasts as she held me against her to feed. I urgently need blood now and Spike senses that. I feel the tip of his cold tongue in my mouth and then a rush of coppery, warm blood. My blood returning to me. He's sliced open his tongue and is feeding me in the most intimate of ways. The blood gushes down my throat, he strokes gently to help me swallow. My last memory before I die is of Spike pulling me into his arms and kissing me reverently on my face, in my hair. Then I fall into blackness.
When I wake in my new vampire body I'm ravenous. Desperate for blood. Any blood. Spike seems keen to get me feeding too. With little prelude, he pulls me off the bed and flings my clothes to me. 'Come on little blood wagon, we're goin' out.'
Ahh. I see. My new, 'Sire' thinks his Childe is going to acquire blood for him. Well, he's going to be disappointed. When I try to bite the homeless man we find in the bus shelter, I pretend to fall to the floor clutching my head.
Spike is furious. Incandescent with rage. He mumbles and swears to himself all the way back to Giles' place. But I have to give him his due, he's trying to look after me. He takes some of Giles' stuff and disappears into the night, only to return with butcher's blood, which he gives me first to drink. When I've had my fill, he takes some, too. He spends the rest of the morning watching me surreptitiously out of the corner of his eye. I want to get him into bed. I want him to penetrate me, for his first time. I'm desperate for his cock inside me anyway, but I also want him to do it for his own sake. That's what all this magic was about. I try moving around, making him watch me even more intently. I need to get him stimulated, need to get some un-life fury coursing through that cold, hard, slim, smooth…Christ I'm hard. I could break something I'm so pent up. I desperately need release. Only one thing that's guaranteed to get Spike desperate for sex, that's fighting. He gets off on it. Fantasizes about it. I've got to precipitate a fight.
Forgot I'm not in my own body. That hurt. Guess he didn’t like having his own tactics used against him. But I think he's going to like this.
I take his cock in my hands. I'm about to move my lips over my teeth to give him a long, sensual licking, sucking session when I remember I'm supposed to be a fledging. Better make this a bit rough. Woops. Too much teeth. But I get into it with gusto.
Spike leans back, holding tightly to my head. He closes his eyes and seems lost in his own world, I sense that stiffening in his balls as he's about to come. I've been here so often, I know every tiny inflection of his body, as it's under my control. He comes with an explosive orgasm in the back of my throat. But it's not that that makes me smile into his softening cock, it's that he was whispering my name quietly to himself as he came.
But time is running out. I don’t know how long we will have in this place. I don’t know at what point things went bad, and he returned to me. He hasn’t learnt anything yet. He’s still selfish, all take, no give. I need to get him into bed. I need to show him what I want. I stand up and move towards the bedroom.
Again, I have that strange feeling that I know he will be following me. I mean, I know he will because he is Spike, but I also know because…it's odd, I feel as though I have been here before and done this before. It's what humans call déjà vu I suppose. I've had it all day, and it's getting stronger. So, as I know he will be coming, I make sure I'm doing something interesting when he gets here. I'm so hard from sucking him off, I can hardly get myself out. So I just strip off completely and enjoy the feel of this huge cock in my hand. It feels even more remote than last time. I run my hand up and down the great, thick shaft. I rub lightly across the tip with my thumb, trying to catch the few drops of precum there to use as lubrication. There's not enough for this length. But again, it's odd. If I reach into the bedside table I know I will find a tub of lube there. I can smell strawberries before I even reach over. Just the memory of the smell of strawberries makes me even harder. Then Spike is here, standing at the bottom of the bed and he is watching me. I know that this is the time. I lift my legs up, exposing my aching hole. We've done this so many times before and yet this is the first time, too.
'Please, Sire, I've never done this before…but I want you inside me. Please.' Did I say that? Doesn’t sound like me, but then this body doesn't feel like me either. I am almost not here now. I'm so confused.
He starts to crawl up the bed, but I know he is going to stop and try to leave. I feel his hand on my thigh, but it isn't there yet. I offer him the lube. Did he ask for it yet? All is becoming blurred. All is confusing. Did I see a flicker of a candle from the corner of my eye? Can I feel a belt wrapped tightly around my hand? Is this when I am meant to bring him back? Is this the act holding him to this place, this time. Is he caught here forever entering me? But he's not in me yet. I look down and find he is. I rear back in ecstasy and know I have reared back here many times before. I don't know now whether we are finished. I am asleep, then I am not. I am asking for more but then I am asleep. I am wrapped in his arms, but I don’t remember getting here. I must focus. I must stop this dissolution. I need something to hold on to, to bring me back. To bring me into focus.
I reach out and find his hand and in the dark I hold on to that as if that could save us both. I squeeze his fingers tightly as if he were my Spike, and as if somewhere, somehow, my Spike can feel my fingers, too.